maybes and what ifs

Maybe just today, maybe not tommorrow, maybe for eternity, maybe never in a distant lifetime. Never certain because there is no ultimatum, never certain because everything seems too dangerous. Time to break free, time to be me, time to get lost, time to find thoughts. Time to hide in my corner, time to be lost in my shadows, time to be aware and time to not know where Im headed. Senseless thoughts runnin circles in my head, another lost rant going about me. Colliding in bursts of anger, in tiny bursts of uncertainty. Knowing exactly what i'm capable of but not knowing at all what it is i need to be doing. Taking everybody's crap and in turn giving mine, making no sense at all of life. Need a break to breathe and laugh. Set me free of this crime of mine. A crime so sweet all life seems blind. Maybe just today, maybe not tommorrow, maybe for eternity and maybe never in a distant lifetime.

BiTez!

How many of us have reached that point of exhaustion where nothing else in the world seems to matter anymore? Like just when you catch your breath from one mistake, you turn around and get smacked in the face by another mistake thats waiting to happen. Life matters to those who value it. Such wise words coming from someone who was probably having a good day or week. What happens when we value life so much that everything matters? What happens when everything that goes wrong pierces the gut like a knife? Do we cease to value all that surrounds us or do we keep moving on until the blades of life cut us completely out of the light. We need to breath and wallow in glories of our own to appreciate the choices we've made and learn to brush off the stupid things we fall into. I am going to live my life for me and whoever comes to change it will have to mean everything and will have to respect that sometimes, I may be a little selfish.

iNtO tHe LiGhT...

Sometimes we try so hard to define ourselves, testing our tolerance over and over again just to check if anything within us has changed. It gets hard to cope and sometimes it jz drowns us in misery. What helps is to eventually remember that it is not us that we need to define, it is our priorities. What we need to set limits to is the importance in our life that should not be questioned. Who we are is only temporary because in time, our preferences change, our needs vary and what we believe in is bombarded by the truths of reality. The obscenity of thought is that we peep at our minds too often. We try to read between the lines that need not the fine detailed attention we scorn it with. It shows us clearly what we need to see, only what we can handle at a time. Dwell not within the darkness in your hearts instead, keep searching for the glimpse of light and hold on for dear life. Let no one take it away and let not the darkness taketh you into its hole.

quotes

Favourite love quotes:

- Here it is! The very essence of me! It is yours to nurture or destroy.
(Troy,David Gemmel)

-After all, Im just a girl standing infront of a boy asking him to love her.
(Notting Hill)

-“I cannot fix on the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew that I had begun."
(Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen)

-Meredith Grey: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.
(Grey's anatomy)

-Dorothy: I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.
(Jerry Maguire)

- Jerry Maguire: I love you. You... you complete me. And I just...
Dorothy: Shut up, just shut up. You had me at "hello".
(Jerry Maguire)


- 'Theres a kind of love that makes you feel anything is possible. That you can be anyone. I want you to have that."
(Nights in rodanthe)

NiCk NiCk'S BiRthDaY!

Yesterday was our dear nick-nick's birthday! We had lotsa laughs about things that shan't be metioned for many many reasons! haha.. We got him his very first apron to kick of his culinary career.. It wuz vry vry him! Cant wait for our future visits to chef nicholas's kitchen! hehe.. Speaking of fooood.. Dinna was sumwhat delish! woohoo! cheesebaked spaghetti with hawaiian tuna baby!! YuuMMmm! Damn, shud have taken picture to tempt everyone! hehe.. Anyways, Our nick nick is legal now... Looks like Im the only "innocent" one in the group now. All waiting for my birthday next. Maybe I should start my bday wishlist? hahhaha. Just kidding!! Back to NICK's bday again, the place wuz sowh cute again, for reasons i shan't mention. Lets just say, that it stuck to it's name and gave alot of good vibes(feeling) with singing that was pretty good thanks to the added guitar skills to back em. Managed to enjoy though I couldn't understand a single thing they sang! I should sowh learn chinese! Someone teach me pwease.. Haha.. I liked that place! "feeling it!"... Just so u get da dumb jokes Im throwing out, the place is called "feeling cafe". Hahaha.. Must promote abit.. :) All in all, I like yesterday.. I wuv my fwenz though Gaga wuz missing. :( We'll hv to make sure he makes it next time yea.. MUUAAXXX!! Whoops! i 4got to end the post with what happened at the end.. When we dropped nick home we took a picture..(as u can c up there!) hehe.. Thats not my punch line.. Punch line is, HO RAN OVER NICK'S FOOT!!! ON HIS BIRTHDAY!! hahahahahahhaa... owh wait, nick referred to that as FUN! silly dumpling! haha.. It wuz ONLY your toes rite nick? hahaha... MUAX!