At the edge of anywhere today...

Can't fall back. Not into a past that only dreams can be a part of. I'm holding on at the end of this cliff and I'm not letting go. Not diving head first into a land where the fairy tales seem real when all around you shadows are spreading their arms. Finger tips dug deep into this rock, I'm screaming all my last breaths just to keep hanging on. As my tears slide down my cheeks, the world around me spins and I can't keep up. My body aches.. Every muscle, every nerve at its very end but nothing is beyond the pain of the little beats that throw me off course. Not remembering what anything feels like I wanna keep it this way. I don't wanna remember I don't wanna dream. I wanna be head first and all body in with my reality, all I can see and feel and have in my arms. This is what it is and somehow this isn't what its about. Rainbows end and this is my pot of gold. My rainbow is over and before me I see its shimmer. A little bit shattered and a little less reflective of the sunlight I once saw but there it is. Waiting for me.. Maybe my record is broken, all my stories are repeating unwillingly. Get me out of this loop. Take my hand and pull me out of this black hole. Bring me back my blue skies and let the warmth of the sun take me away...