My own happy ending

Here I am.. This is where time breathes. Steal my breaths and squeeze my heart till it just won't beat. For a moment I am gone. The clicks of every clock start ticking and the gears in my head turn once more. All the thoughts are back to haunt me and I am lost from reality no more. Love not what once seemed real for destiny is no more the essence of day. Struck once is more than plenty for once is just all its going to take. Broken wings may mend and fly away but a broken spirit takes more than rest and bandages.. The cast was off too soon before its time, now the bones it worked so hard to hold together shatter just out of grasp. Bit by bit the pieces fall like rain drops in a field so cold. The pieces lie upon the ground like there is nowhere else for it to be. Its long expected home of old of familiar feelings that were all supposed to reach a happy ending built to last. I let down my hair no more and I climb my own stairwell. I slay my own dragons and I stand firm in what I must. My heart is mine and you will not conquer for my sleeve is torn and it will no longer bear the stains on my arm.

At the edge of anywhere today...

Can't fall back. Not into a past that only dreams can be a part of. I'm holding on at the end of this cliff and I'm not letting go. Not diving head first into a land where the fairy tales seem real when all around you shadows are spreading their arms. Finger tips dug deep into this rock, I'm screaming all my last breaths just to keep hanging on. As my tears slide down my cheeks, the world around me spins and I can't keep up. My body aches.. Every muscle, every nerve at its very end but nothing is beyond the pain of the little beats that throw me off course. Not remembering what anything feels like I wanna keep it this way. I don't wanna remember I don't wanna dream. I wanna be head first and all body in with my reality, all I can see and feel and have in my arms. This is what it is and somehow this isn't what its about. Rainbows end and this is my pot of gold. My rainbow is over and before me I see its shimmer. A little bit shattered and a little less reflective of the sunlight I once saw but there it is. Waiting for me.. Maybe my record is broken, all my stories are repeating unwillingly. Get me out of this loop. Take my hand and pull me out of this black hole. Bring me back my blue skies and let the warmth of the sun take me away...

Silent screams..

A vague message sent by a stranger. One that expects lines in between to be coated in magic fairy dust to make all things suddenly seem real. Fairies weren't made outside of the land of dreams and my fantasy ended when all reality came crashing in. Beyond that mountain I once called my own, I hide not away from my friend shadows. Claims of light beyond my reach, I feel my warmth glow from inside of me. I need not the light nor its fading rays. I search not in the dark for I have not forgotten my wings. I fly and soar and feel the wind beneath my wings. The air lifts me and now I know not of evil things. My past is over and my future renewed. All I look toward is now finally being consumed. Thoughts told to be of my own were deceitful images to be held. Ones looked upon only to be strengthened again. Maybe the podium built fits not both you and I but I need not a podium for I live in the sky. I am above all that live to ambush, taunt and scorn. I live beyond fires that look into your eyes and ceaselessly burn. Once you soared amongst the birds, and once you sat on great trees above. Now you stand within your own bitterness, lost in words that only you speak of. What is real and what is not anymore? I don't understand what your world survives on anymore. All that you held dear has been banished for an uncertain eternity and all that is left is the ashes you allow yourself to dwell within. The ashes are but that of a phoenix. They wait to rise in flames of beauty. If only you opened your eyes to see what lies before you, maybe someday you will see the clouds that crowd your mind from the truth of your judgement. All my dreams lost and poured into one, now all my dreams captured have come all at once. I tire not from breaking the ashes although I break free each time and each time the light shines a little less brighter. Angels fall and so do poets however angels find light while the poet hides in darkness. Choose now for all eternity depends on it. For the choice you make is the strength you put into it. Whatever you choose is what you decide on being. And whatever it may be it will be only your choice beside it.