Not cryin over spilt blood

It used to be a great laugh, it was thought to be a great partnership. We were made in heaven just like gummy bears when u make me angry. Things change, yes i am very much aware. But do you have to constantly help me fly and then drastically let go? If not to be my lover then atleast remain the companion that helped me fight my demons. Ahh but the sweet saying that I love so well never ceases to captivate me.. Every freakin thing happens for a freakin reason. And I stand by it.. I always will I think.. But remember, one day, I'll be there for you even though you don't see me right infront of you offering you my shelter. I will be the one to save you and right then.. You can't have me.. I'm growing. I'm learnin from every single mistake I've made. And now, I don't need this 'I love you but its too hard right now to be there for you all the time and I have to go through this alone crap'! Muax!

(!?..!?)

All this talk of darkness, never seems to fall. All the shade we hide in, gives us such little time. Nod our heads and close an eye, to things we choose not to believe. Though we drown in what surrounds us, it is merely what we end up having to breathe. The smell of soot, of filthy lies. Of "innocent" lying through our teeth. We wish we may just at a sight, be rid of things that give a fight. Just to give in and fall to our knees; to make this life closer to complete. Seeing no circumstance to throw a fist in through a door. Seeing instead its steady alternate route closer to smelling the raw tiles on the floor. Backing down seems cowardly but sometimes made too big. Somethings just don't make a diff while others create the ultimate change.

Lost in this tranlation one time too many. Back to the same sequence in the same old routine I keep running circles in. Back to square one again, where every rainbow coloured cloud eventually turns a dull dusty grey. Thats not gonna be me again, all I'm seeing is a delicate and subtle bright golden sun, pink and purple clouds and an almost beaming army of green leaves everywhere! haha.. abit too optimistic? owh well! bttr all full up than half full or half empty ey? :D

PS: this means no more nonsense! from me... (**,) riiite... haha..