Endless..

There's a girl sitting in a deep dark corner. Nobody sees her but I hear her call my name. There in the silence she grins on her own and lies in total absolution from all truth and blame. There is a secret waiting to break free. A secret set of wings that are waiting to spread. All that stands between her and her freedom is but a moment. A glimpse of a wish she once made. The curl of her sleek black hair lies in place by her cheek. The make up that hides the lines of the tears she once shed. There in the mirror she sees her reflection.. She sees beauty beyond all she had imagined. Beauty once lost in the shadow of doubt. Beauty once thrown away by a heart once pure. Looked past all the good in the light and fallen straight into shame and endless storms of blame. Maybe it took too long. Maybe it was worth the wait. Strangers that encountered love in a friendship held so dear. Tonight belongs to me as tomorrow will to you. The night is no longer ours because I'm done giving in to you. I'm done being the bleeding sleeve in all your endless heartaches. I'm done shielding my heart from what I know was to be. The time caught up to us and now it's time to face your demons. They whirlwinds in you have come to haunt you and my love, I cannot solve what is yours to learn. I cannot wake you up from this nightmare you put us in. My sunrise is mine to watch and if you're ready to face today, my sunrise will be ours to share. No more night skies and starry strolls. No more running from demons to shadows. No more secrets, no more separate lives. If you're ready we'll let our hearts stop competing to survive but finally let them combine and rise.. I love you now and always will and that is all I can bring myself to say..

Breaking free

and when the little sparrow sits by her window, she watches the wind dance between the leaves of her favourite cherry tree. The music of the stringed angels play through her feathers and tell her a story of the years gone by. As she lies awake beneath the sunlight, mending her broken little wing she joins the wind in its little dance and she sings through thundering sounds of rain. She sings through the day and all through the night. Break free of this cage that binds you and stop imagining the reality before you. Be what is and what can be.. Feel what you have and all that you can feel. The wind is but beneath your wing. The sun beams his rays on your window sill and nothing but your cage is keeping you there. Leap the leap with all the might of your little heart and break free of the shadowed palace that keeps you captive. Claim your daylight from the moon and the stars and claim the moonlight from all the shadowed friends you are so fond of.

Let me out of this nightmare.. set me free..

We could fade into a distant memory.. All the painted seashores and all of the moonlight glances when it felt like it was just u and me. Beneath the starlight and hidden in the shadows where we are all that we need to be. Everything seems so simple and yet everything could just be swept away with the sands of time of unfortunate mistakes.. One split moment, one false move.. A love so strong in so much frailty. We could be stronger than pillars standing tall. We could be amazing beyond all doubt. What stands between us, but a decision. A wall standing in the way of everything that we could be. I'd hold your hand when times get rough, I'd love you when it feels like theres no one around. I'd do me and you'd do you just like we did before, we'd be everything we are without a doubt in the world. Nothing to hold us down. Nothing to fear. No more running from love itself. Circling my thoughts with daggers in my sides thinking how we got here. Where did we go wrong but more so how in the world did we not see all of the right? I'm in my head behind bars that hold me back. I'm afraid just like you. I'm hanging on this cliff but I'm ready to jump off it with you. Never before have I stood by in the shadows and yet here I lie within the depths of my soul. Afraid I'm lost in the circumstances of a bad dream that won't go away. I scream inside and my eyes are grey. My sparkle is yours and my faith is strong. Lead me not into another nightmare. Don't make me have to say goodbye this time. I'm tired of letting go, of giving in to all the circumstances of life.. I'm fighting like hell, punch in the face and tearing at the very core of my heart. I'm enduring this wounds and I'll look beyond all my scars. I'm fighting for this. I'm fighting for you and I don't wanna give up. Let our dance not be in vain for it was a beautiful night a beautiful day.. Baby let us have this chance. I'm tired of being alone and I'm tired of allowing the world to fall in love with me left behind with nothing but a memory, nothing but a dream..

~Love~

Grab hold of all that you hold dear to you. Not in fear that one day will not come but in faith that all that you have infront of you will forever be held with love and care. With the steady hands of unwavering endurement of all the bad things that are inevitable. Being free to lose control of yourself knowing that the one person that loves you will love all about you without fear or doubt. The signature of hands clasped together will be written among the stars and with that the stars light up each night only but to whisper the unending tale of what is unquestionable. Beyond rhyme or reason a constellation steals your gaze and you find yourself staring into each others eyes. Lost in a moment when the music holds us warm in its embrace. The world around us stops and stares for awhile to watch the secret in play. The story untold in a tango never so clear as when your hand is holding me close by your side. Daydreams and fairytales.. They become real..

Beyond a broken bridge..

I close my eyes and apologize for all the lies I told myself. I looked away from all the truth that laid awake beneath the broken bridge beyond the star glazed road. To my surprise in the nick of time I closed a broken door. Soon to wake before the quake of the wonders beyond rainbows. I know my truth and I know yours and you know what lies in reality. An escape beyond the clasps of humanity was what we stole and made ours. Tonight I see before my very eyes the truth that you are captive of. I apologize that I can't stand by and watch my shadows fight in the day time. I was captivated in your gaze and my hands lost in your grasp. I let my mind drift away and along with it I got lost in yours. In your head there was nothing but hope nothing but bright skies and yet nothing for love. Unprepared, undiscovered we're waiting in lost words. Worlds twirling in whirlwinds of rage and yet the seas are calm.. The ship is sailing beyond your bay and you've just watched it pass. You never stopped to lend a gaze and now the white sail is gone. Sweet sorrows will blow away and soon the wounds will be healed but look your way and know that I say my love was true. Say goodbye and say goodnight for tommorows will last all night through..

Done!

Stolen little nibbles of a bite too big. All down the gutter of things that just weren't meant to be. End it now when nothing more is lost. Leave now broken before the little pieces are gone. Never again to lose myself to dwell in a realm of darkness beyond all else. I must pick up these sweet nothings and make it wonderful everythings that just don't matter anymore. Define this moment as the hour calls for the bell to ring. Chime through this chapter and end it with infinity. All that is lost in ones lonesome kiss is all that remains in a lover's drift. Sonnets written of long awaited love is all crumbled and tossed away in the new man's world. Thoughts adrift and lies that lay swift. Tonights the night and tommorows no longer exist.. Bring me back to todays and what ifs.. Let me be lost in all my amazings within. Let the rainbow surpass the clouds in the sky and let me stop my dreams of stupid you and I's..

My moon is fading and the sunshine is no more. Twilights are over and now I must live on my own. Let go of the clouds in the skies for now they have all my stories laid to line. All my stolen daydreams and all my laughter filled nights. I miss you.. I miss you.. And I'll miss you tonight. I hate goodbyes and now I hate hellos. The tidings come to an end much like every other good show. I hate goodbyes and solemn vows. Secret lies that only I know. Everybody shares fate but one me shares faith in all the unkept promises in the forbidden gardens. Every star as my witness but noone to comfort. I am cold and scared. Lost in a distance. Nobody knows my name and only I know of this game. My heart stops beating and suddenly my eyes are glazed. Darkness shroud me and take away this pain. Restore my golden rays and let me be awakened once more. Let this be my saviour, my knight in shining armour. Let this tale end with a happy ending for I can't stand another broken piece in my little heart..

Goosebumps..

And this is just another bad dream,
Another mini episode to not dwell in.
Tommorow will wake me up in a new place,
and all these little nightmares will just fade away.

Another crack through my broken little smile,
One more blink in the lost twinkle in my eye.
Another turn back to all thats left behind,
Tonight I live and the lights light up my strides.

My own happy ending

Here I am.. This is where time breathes. Steal my breaths and squeeze my heart till it just won't beat. For a moment I am gone. The clicks of every clock start ticking and the gears in my head turn once more. All the thoughts are back to haunt me and I am lost from reality no more. Love not what once seemed real for destiny is no more the essence of day. Struck once is more than plenty for once is just all its going to take. Broken wings may mend and fly away but a broken spirit takes more than rest and bandages.. The cast was off too soon before its time, now the bones it worked so hard to hold together shatter just out of grasp. Bit by bit the pieces fall like rain drops in a field so cold. The pieces lie upon the ground like there is nowhere else for it to be. Its long expected home of old of familiar feelings that were all supposed to reach a happy ending built to last. I let down my hair no more and I climb my own stairwell. I slay my own dragons and I stand firm in what I must. My heart is mine and you will not conquer for my sleeve is torn and it will no longer bear the stains on my arm.

At the edge of anywhere today...

Can't fall back. Not into a past that only dreams can be a part of. I'm holding on at the end of this cliff and I'm not letting go. Not diving head first into a land where the fairy tales seem real when all around you shadows are spreading their arms. Finger tips dug deep into this rock, I'm screaming all my last breaths just to keep hanging on. As my tears slide down my cheeks, the world around me spins and I can't keep up. My body aches.. Every muscle, every nerve at its very end but nothing is beyond the pain of the little beats that throw me off course. Not remembering what anything feels like I wanna keep it this way. I don't wanna remember I don't wanna dream. I wanna be head first and all body in with my reality, all I can see and feel and have in my arms. This is what it is and somehow this isn't what its about. Rainbows end and this is my pot of gold. My rainbow is over and before me I see its shimmer. A little bit shattered and a little less reflective of the sunlight I once saw but there it is. Waiting for me.. Maybe my record is broken, all my stories are repeating unwillingly. Get me out of this loop. Take my hand and pull me out of this black hole. Bring me back my blue skies and let the warmth of the sun take me away...

Silent screams..

A vague message sent by a stranger. One that expects lines in between to be coated in magic fairy dust to make all things suddenly seem real. Fairies weren't made outside of the land of dreams and my fantasy ended when all reality came crashing in. Beyond that mountain I once called my own, I hide not away from my friend shadows. Claims of light beyond my reach, I feel my warmth glow from inside of me. I need not the light nor its fading rays. I search not in the dark for I have not forgotten my wings. I fly and soar and feel the wind beneath my wings. The air lifts me and now I know not of evil things. My past is over and my future renewed. All I look toward is now finally being consumed. Thoughts told to be of my own were deceitful images to be held. Ones looked upon only to be strengthened again. Maybe the podium built fits not both you and I but I need not a podium for I live in the sky. I am above all that live to ambush, taunt and scorn. I live beyond fires that look into your eyes and ceaselessly burn. Once you soared amongst the birds, and once you sat on great trees above. Now you stand within your own bitterness, lost in words that only you speak of. What is real and what is not anymore? I don't understand what your world survives on anymore. All that you held dear has been banished for an uncertain eternity and all that is left is the ashes you allow yourself to dwell within. The ashes are but that of a phoenix. They wait to rise in flames of beauty. If only you opened your eyes to see what lies before you, maybe someday you will see the clouds that crowd your mind from the truth of your judgement. All my dreams lost and poured into one, now all my dreams captured have come all at once. I tire not from breaking the ashes although I break free each time and each time the light shines a little less brighter. Angels fall and so do poets however angels find light while the poet hides in darkness. Choose now for all eternity depends on it. For the choice you make is the strength you put into it. Whatever you choose is what you decide on being. And whatever it may be it will be only your choice beside it.

A hopeless dreamer..

Watch closely as the world begins to surface. Take a step back and watch the glistening in every eye. Every book has its story and tonight this is mine. The world spins in darkness and the light brings me home tonight. Another leap into temptation, another look at despair.. One more chance in the little gamble. The deception is overwhelming and the city lights are all dim. The true light is missing and all I'm looking for is within. Sometimes the mistakes are one in a million but tonight they are a million to one. How can I escape this dark cold cell when all my bars feel like ice? My hands cold each time I try to bend them and I sink back into all my chains. In the distance the moonlight is calling but tonight its not my name. Star gazers on their midnight strolls stop and stare at the iron bars across my window. I look into their eyes and suddenly the chills stop for a little while. I see the stars that gleamed.. I feel the world stop trembling... I hold their hopes for a moment and then they leave and walk on into their nights.

Nothing but me..

Through the thorns and the rain, nothing but me.. Through the thoughts and the plans, nothing but me. Through the sheets of stained glass on my window the sunlight shines the bright colours. Everyone with its own story and every one with a direction. Falling leaves close my eyes, their golden browns cloud me with sunshine and yet I remain.. Stunned in a place waiting for more to come by. Waiting for golden shards of heaven to quickly make every scar alrite. Truth is my scars run deep, far beyond all the overgrown trees. They lie inside ever so still and still they lie with the sharpest tips. The pain I thought was gone so quick is here to stay to play its tricks. Kick the leaves off the ground and wallow in its glory for just a little while. Soon the leaves will start to fade and soon reality and I will share another playdate. Be still my heart from beating to quick. Be still my heart, don't fall so quick. The leaves will be gone and the emptiness will stay but one things for sure, the world will remain. The world and its endlessness will save the day, just make sure your clouds don't get in the way. Let not my stormy weather shake my core. Let not this raincloud out of its store. Save it for another day. One where the sun promises to stay. On that day, the world will be bright again..

The eternal view..

Lookin' out an open window staring at the smouldering sun. Someone catch my heart from sinking.. Take my hand and keep me from faltering. I am but a girl asking for a ray of sunshine to beam its warm light unto my darkness. Something to keep the shadows away from whispering cold breezes and sweet nothings. Looking for the angel, the light in the doorway. Wondering where my breadcrumbs went cause I seem to have lost my way. Lay it all out on the heart I wear on my sleeve. Take my missing beats and make it whole again. Far beyond a distant nightmare, a knight in shining armour always saved my day. Now it's just me and I'm okay now but still my side is bare. I hear music in the background of my day. Every lyric speaks your name. Another ryhme another listen, one more night and my heart weakens. Dreaming of things that are not real and yet in this dream I'm stuck in your reality. Like a dancer waiting for her chance to shine, I'm waiting on my dream to come alive. Drowned in obstacles I need to break lose, let me grow wings so I can soar free and unfold with you..

Glittered sandcastles..

A maiden waiting at the shore for her sailor to come home.. She builds castles out of sand and remembers the names of every wishing star. Tonight, a night like no other. The stars cease to shine upon her. The rain falls and raindrops fill her eyes. All around her glimmers brightly. All the world surrounding her in eternal beauty. The scales fall from her eyes and finally she sees the sunrise. Beams of sunlight on her face.. The beauty of every starlight, the shade of every moon dance.. What if sunlights are just a dream? What if the starlights weren't real? Be the truth that quides the seeking heart. Mine is beating two beats apart. Sync in with me as we sit on cloud 9.. Lost in our very own misbeats struck out in time.

catching daydreams..

Sunny days and starry nights, how you stir me from the inside. Get me lost in blue skies and lose everything in sight. All that seems real somehow stepped into light. Now I see faded closets waiting to be opened. Darkened lights waiting to be turned brighter. All that is real is unreal and all that is unreal might be my truth. Truth is I'm dreaming and within my dream I am real. Searching for my answers when what I needed to find was my questions. Maybe all I was made to be is a dreamer but I will be the best dreamer there is to be. My dreams are my survival and through this mess I must win.

Courage in a time of a distant tomorrow..

Half way there just isn't going to do. The pins strike sharp and I'm tired of chasing the endless wheels. Stuck in an hour glass with no escaping every grain of time. I'm shaking in my shoes tonight, alone and in the blues. Catch another falling teardrop and stab me right in the heart. Be there for one more night and then disappear for all the other days. Gather all the love you have and keep a little on the side. My love is nothing but shadowed brick walls and there is no more to keep you nice and warm. I'm watching the glass fill up with sand. I'm holding my whole world in my hand. I'm holding it close and ever so tight. Afraid I'll let more slip out of my sight.. Another sunset, another sun rise.. One more cold, dark and lonely. One more tomorrow to put behind. I want my today, my right now.. I need sweet memories and I need the tenderness I've been missing all this time. I'm done with half way streets with unlit freakin' lamp posts. I'm tired of holding an empty hand on my lap that is none other than my own. Courage, gather yourself up. Courage beat it down. Courage scream with ambered fires.. Courage come and claim your child.

Makin it through..

If I had a choice, half of your heart just won't do. Another melody is playing and I'm sinking in it's tune. The screams of each note unending as it spins all over like morning dew. Fall gently upon this petal, ever fragile in its form. Spill over me with certainty as the uncertainties of the world collide. Bring me back to solid ground, flying just isn't much fun. The starry nights were beautiful but now its time to play in the sun. Dream a little dream of me..

I don't want to be lost in dreamland. Don't want to think and feel this nothingness inside. Want to be free of you and the whispered promises of lifetimes in sparkles and sun.. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. Don't want to know where the heartache begins again. Tomorrow you'll leave and another songbird sings goodbye. Today I'm free. Another day with a mask by my side.

Dreams of gold..

I woke up this morning captivated by a dream. One with a lady who was lost in her very own distant dream. A lady dressed in simplicity and yet she wore a beautiful string of turqoise blue around her neck bejeweled with only golden adornment. She looked into the pockets of space and time and I watched her wondering what shes getting lost in. I merely uttered a few words out in a form of a simple question and in turn I received the true beauty of the life in her eyes. Though with recent marriage and her husband right by her side playing the most soothing of tunes, eyes closed and lost in his own world. She said simply and yet with so much of depth in her eyes. She said 'I woke up this morning and felt like a deer caught in the headlights. All I have left to look forward to in my life lies beyond the fields of gold.'

Lost within fields of gold one day she will be, among the glow of sunlight gleaming over the seas. My ship has sailed away from me and one day your ship will come home. Within the rasping wind I will find my sailor and I will be strong. I will wait in the fields of barley. I will dream until the dream is done..

The butterfly..

Let me tell you the story of the Butterfly lady.

She sits on her leaf pondering for a second. She picks herself up and moves on. She flutters her wings with colours so bright. She seeks her new flower while the sun beams his light. Blessed with honey all glittered in gold she can't help but have her lips caught on its taste. A wind picks up and blows her weak little legs right off that gentle petal and she is taken far far away.. Flight by flight, from day to the creeps of moonlight. She searches for her flower.. One that starts feeling like a dream. One that begins to look further and further away. She flies round in circles and yet it never leads her back to the golden taste of heaven. The winds are harsh, the place seems cursed. I'm repeating a song that tells me I'm mad but somehow I'm just lost and alone deep down inside. I'm caught between the flower and a dark place. My flower is slipping away but I remember its taste. I remember the soft petal.. I remember the feeling of home. But where? Where are you? I'm lost and searching and I'm running out of time.. I'm tired and my last little flutter has come around and there it is.. I will remember.. I will feel every last drop.. I miss it.. Flutter.. Flutter not..